Some chinaman has skimmed my debit card. I lost £935 to some ching-chong scammer. I wouldn’t actually give a shit if my bank were happy to refund it immediately, but they aren’t. Alas, I have to wait WEEKS while they “investigate” what happened. It’s nice to know they stopped my card immediately though, thanks for that. How about stopping it happen in the first place? Apparently, just in case I flew out to Malaysia myself and spent £935, they have to “investigate” it. So instead of me being defrauded, it’s possible that I might be trying defraud the bank, by defrauding myself, although I’m not actually defrauding myself. Oh, fuck off. I don’t even know what you can buy in Malaysia for £935 GBP.

I am fucked now. My rent is due in less than 8 days. I can’t borrow the money from my parents because they are skint. My friend Gary is ignoring my txts. This is fucking bollocks. My credit rating will get skull-fucked very soon.

Anyway. In other news: VeryVulgar.com is proud to present: Criminals with tattooed faces!!

This is Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C. Exhibit D (scary). Exhibit E. Exhibit F.

Not much to post right now, other than a few photographs of cigarette packets that you may or may not have seen before.

St Peter & The Holy Water

A train hits a bus-load of catholic school girls and they all perish. They all wind up in Heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

St. Peter asks the first girl, “Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.”
St. Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Karina have you ever had any contact with a penis?
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, “Well once I fondled and stroked one.”
St. Peter says, “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line, St. Peter says: “Sharon! What seems to be the rush?”
The girl replies: “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Mandy sticks her ass in it!”

Bill Gates (fairly) recently gave a speech at a High School about 10 things you did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Now, just watch these cunts:

So here I am. Welcome to my blog. I don’t know if anyone cares enough about me or this site to have felt a bit empty without the absolute bollocks that goes on this pot of piss I call a website, and to be honest I don’t really care either. It took me a while to make this, but it was worth it. Very worth it. I have noticed that this site is getting maybe 40-50 hits a day already, for some strange reason. I don’t know how anyone is finding this website as I haven’t told anyone about it yet. It’s fucking bizarre really.